I just spent the weekend away with my Dad on a 2 day golf trip and 15 other friends. We had a blast and it was a great opportunity to catch up with some old mates that i have not seen in some time. We had some amazing conversations about life, business, school and of course golf. Conversation is the most natural yet complex of all human connections.
Conversation, here is what it looks like:
1. The Content: What we say. This comprises of about 7% of what we actually pay attention to. It matters.
2. The Process: How we say it. It is estimated that 55% of the process is carried through by non-verbal communication with 38% being the vocal tone alone. Yep… hmm.
3. The Timing: When we say it. This is the biggest influencer of how we process information.
4. Permission: The most critical aspect is permission. Are we talking “with” each other or “at” each other?
Our lives are based on how we communicate. The meaning of communication is the response of elicits, not the intention. The ancient Greek word for conversation “diatribe” means use of time, occupation and dialogue. Our brain is an associative network. It means that our memories record not just the specific details of events, but also our feelings about them. So when it is under the influence of one emotion, it habitually makes connections to past events that triggered that same emotional response. Emotions affect the way we feel, but they also affect the way we remember. When we relive a memory, we make a new memory in the process, with new connections.
This weekend brought up a lot of old memories with some amazing people and I learnt a hell of a lot about myself in the mean time. Most important lesson, “don’t take up golf as a profession” but more importantly, at the root of all of us, there is great stories with great people with great intentions to live life.
To me, story telling is one of the most powerful forms of connection, to recall events that somehow deviate from our expectations. For better or worse. Our brains have a grounded interest in surprise. Add to the mix considerations around context, cultural differences, social circumstances, and environmental noise. Making a connection is indeed a very powerful proposition.
So is your business telling the right stories to make the right connections?
Ben Rennie
About the Author: Ben Rennie is founder and creator of uncluttered white spaces and the Director for transitionXY. You can comment on Ben’s post via the comment box or send him an email ben@transitionxy.com
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